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HOW TO CONDUCT YOUR OWN WEDDING REHEARSAL
by Rev. James Wentz © 2007
Think of your wedding ceremony as a dignified mini-rocket to dramatically launch your memorable day. The wedding rehearsal is the stable launch-pad for a successful ceremony flight.
Catering establishments may provide a staff person to conduct a rehearsal just prior to the ceremony (check this out), with the bride absent if the groom is not to see her gowned before hand. Regardless, a last minute rehearsal can be problematic since caterers have their set style of doing them and there is no time insist on what you want.
Some clergy require that not only there be a rehearsal but that he or she conduct it; the cost is built into their fee.
Other clergy, such as this author, are willing to conduct one for an additional amount, if available. On-site is the ideal spot, but other locations also can work.
A wedding ceremony rehearsal ideally should be conducted by an EXPERIENCED professional (if service lapel pins were issued mine would indicate, for 2007, 28 years).
However, to help couples save some dollars in a strained budget, or one that already is approaching outer space, with a good plan (my "secret" strategy) you can conduct your own.
So here I spill the beans to the world.
You conduct the rehearsal backwards.
First, the gait walking in and out is VERY slowly; remember your graduation pace to "Pomp and Circumstance" (but no lock-step). The gentlemen put their palm on their belly button so the ladies can take the gentleman’s arm at his bent elbow. For drama, the separation distance is the whole length of the aisle, except for very young ring-bearers and flower-girls.
1) If there is a receiving line following the recessional, this is formed the very first thing, so that everyone knows who they are standing next to . . . I like the idea of the two mothers first, then the bride and groom, then the fathers, then the other attendants unless the line is restricted to the couple and their parents.
2) Now, you break ranks and go to a different area where everyone takes their ceremony place. Position a chair for the imaginary clergy, which is the center focal point for all members of the wedding party to form around, like a half moon, with the couple directly in front of the "clergy"; because of the arc all attendants can see the couple during the ceremony. Parents are in their front row seats—each mother is on the AISLE to be able to see when the bride is about to come, and then both stand (having sat upon being escorted in) to signal all guests to do the same—the mothers sit when the couple are in front of the clergy; a signal for all guests also to sit.
3) Next, practice the RECESSIONAL ("walking out"); the couple are first. After the kiss and the couple have turned to walk down the aisle the maid of honor now hands back the bride’s "flowers" (use a pen at the rehearsal) and actually goes through the motions of assisting the bride with her imaginary train (if she has one)...[her own pretend flowers (another pen) have been held by the bridesmaid next to her from the time the maid of honor arrived in position]...now the bride takes the groom’s arm and they walk past the imaginary train by a few feet and stop to let the maid of honor fluff it fully with her two free hands...now the maid of honor takes her own "flowers" and the arm of the best man and they go next, then all other attendants follow with the parents last (note: first in are last out). The recessional separation distance is about half the length of the aisle.
4) Now the receiving line is formed at the rear, which has already been practiced. The best man holds off oncoming guests until hugs and kisses are exchanged and the receiving line is completely formed.
5) Next, everyone goes back to the ceremony area and again take their positions, as previously practiced.
6) Now, the RECESSIONAL is done again, but this time the column stays intact (no receiving line is formed), and when it is completely to the rear, the bride and groom stop, turn around and shout "Freeze...everyone turn around and face the front...stay with your partner".
7) The line up for the PROCESSIONAL ("walking in") is now essentially formed. Insert any ring boy(s), perhaps in front of the maid of honor. A flower girl(s) comes right before the bride. The groom and the best man go forward and take their positions. The bride’s escort joins her. The mothers’ escorts join them; the groom’s mother is first down the aisle, unless grandparents are walking in (groom’s, then bride’s).
8) Now the PROCESSIONAL is practiced...at the ceremony area everyone knows where to go because they have just come, twice, from where they are supposed to be! As soon as the bride is in position in front of the clergy the maid of honor pretends to fluff her train with her two free hands, having handed her own pretend (pen) "flowers" off immediately upon arrival to the bridesmaid next to her.
9) Now everything can be practiced as many times as necessary so everyone has "got it."
Depending on the size of your wedding party one to two hours should be allowed for the rehearsal. Since there is no clergy to pull rank, a little extra time should be allowed for any wedding party members who are likely to clown around a little (give them some slack so they can have their fun too).
In reference as to how things are done—no matter how many self-proclaimed "experts" may be present—the bride and groom can inform everyone, if necessary, that they have on professional authority (that’s me) that their decisions are final.
A piece of cake!—uh . . . wedding cake, that is.
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© 2007 Rev. James Wentz - www.RevIDo.com